quiet rest.

Sunday, January 02, 2011

"...what you're thinking, is what you're becoming..."
                                                                  muhammed ali

two words have been filling my thoughts these last couple weeks...
resolve (ri-solv)
v. to come to a definite or earnest decision
resolution (rez-uh-loo-shuhn)
n. a solution

I have been quiet.  quiet on purpose.  I know, rare for the spaz in me. :)
but I think I am coming to a resolution about a few things about myself this trip...

one, I am indeed a snapdragon in the morning ;)
I like to pretend that I am sunshine in the morning, but I simply am not.
and whereas other people I know need dirty water to "become human",  I need quiet (and a chilly diet coke) the first fifteen minutes in the morning to gather my thoughts and attitude...it's not good, it's not bad...it just is. 
and to protect that when I get home, I need to get up earlier.
yup, resolve numero one.

two, I need quiet to grow.  and I've treasured quiet this trip.
life seems to swirl around me when I'm home and I tend to feel a little less grounded there.
I love and crave without knowing, weeks like this last one where the freedom to explore my thoughts and hear them are abundant.  it allow me to think clearly about where I am lacking in resolve.
I love that word...resolve.
it has muscle to it.  determination.  drive.  but also, quiet strength.
so where to find quiet amidst the business of my life?
I think it's in the morning...possibly in the evening...but, I think it's outside...no, I know it's outside.
I am SO nature deprived...I got to walk through the forest preserve this week with my man (yes, it was cold...but a good cold.) and he made that glaring need for resolution for me.
there is a part of me that simply comes alive when I'm outside.
I've felt it most deeply standing small by the ocean...
I've felt it when the wind teases my hair...
I feel it when the tree's whisper up north...
but when it's just me and my AWESOME boots (seriously, they are awesome and my feet NEVER get wet or cold),
my camera and the o.u.t.s.i.d.e...
I can breathe.  deep.
and more importantly, I can literally feel His presence.
the world feels a little less important when that happens...and I find deep peace when that happens. 

three, I'm learning that rest is terribly important.  I tend to go until I burn out.
not good.
I run around thinking that everything needs to get done and I'm the one who needs to be doing it.
not good.  and not truth.
I've come to realize I need to protect rest in my life because I am the one who is not protecting it.
I need to be okay with turning off the cell phone and simply not answering.
I need to be okay with closing the laptop.
I need to be okay to pause and say no, if necessary.
                   be quiet...be quiet and rest.

I have many more resolutions filled with resolve to come but I'll leave you with glimpses of my quiet rest...
my beautiful, beautiful quiet rest.  :)  

I love my man...

really, really love him... :)

THIS makes me smile.  a lot.  I have a serious obsession with owls. always have, always will.

I also have a large obsession with moss...it fascinates me and I LOVE the color. :)

one of my most favorite moments of my trip so far, the mist seemed to envelope us...and the quiet was astounding. :)

hello, my old friend. :)


Dawn said...

I love you. I love your pictures. I love that I am upstairs and you are downstairs and I am writing to you instead if talking to you. I love your resolve and I think you will succeed! I love that walking through the misty woods astounded me, as it astounded you, and made me want to talk to God. And I love that I could and did talk to God. Lastly, I love that you LOVE your NH boots so much! :)

janet said...

I love the Great Blue Heron, the Great Horned Owl, the Cardinals...the wisdom you've gained...God put the first humans in a garden for many reasons, not least of which is that we're able to perceive Him better in His creation...gives us proper perspective I think. I hope when you come back, you're not sucked into a crazy vortex of busyness again...keep that resolve.

DESIGNEDbyemily said...

4 words. 2 sentences. 'not good. not truth.' my eyes read them, my mind registered them and instantly my heart applied them. i need to get rid of the 'not good. not truth.' in my life. i needed this post. thank you Jen! by the way the pix are amazing. textures & colors from my childhood.

Kate the Great: said...

Loved your pictures...the one of Matt in the grass is hilarious...like a lion. I couldn't put to words how I've been needing to be in nature more, but you said it well, and I feel the same way. I didn't call you on purpose these last two weeks, but I hope to catch up with you soon. When you're ready.

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